Monthly Archives: March 2013

A Shadow Unknown

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alone

That shadow stood frozen,

in night’s darkest hour

still as a picture,

as a sole withering flower

 

 

with curios eyes laced with fear

I dared to move n step near

 

 

I saw that shadow move

n stare at me from a shady groove

I could see nothing but those eyes

those so familiar eyes

so dark so deep,as an ocean blue

those eyes so special,

those eyes belonged to YOU

 

 

When those eyes met mine,

they glowed for a while

then got filled with the sorrow

that lay hidden in that smile

 

 

What brought that gloom

on that once charming face

stealing all its charm

robbing’ all its grace

I wanted you to tell

what turned that heaven into hell

what made that enchanting smile,

so faint,so fragile

 

 

your lips parted to speak.

but the sound was so bleak

the words that you spoke

were lost in the clouds

and lost their meaning

in that misty shroud

 

 

That shadow turned away then

and vanished in the mist

I stretched out my hand to stop it

but it moved away with a pace so swift

Away from my eyes,forever was it gone

melted in the dark

n became a shadow unknown

leaving me with the darkness

that spread far n near

and incoherent thoughts of

that shadow once so dear,

left me groping in the dark

and struggling to find

a meaning for those lost words,

I never did hear

which never could travel

from your lips to my ears….

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What Will People say .. :(

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What will people say ? Many of us must be familiar with this  question which that  little voice in your head keeps on poking you with over and over again. I have been a victim of this  ” what will people say” syndrome for long too. To the extent that I tied myself to an invisible rope and handed over the other end to these “people” who pulled it up every time I tried to do things my way and made me smother my desires and dreams totally, until I started living the way they wanted .

Who are these “people “?  and why do their opinions matter?  There’s a whole crowd of such people. They could be our relatives, colleagues, neighbors or sometimes even random strangers.  The shackles remain intact only the hands holding them change from time to time.And here you are seeking approval all the  time, pleasing everyone and basically living your life “their way” as if that was the only thing you were sent to the earth for. Eventually there comes a time when you feel suffocated, and that kicks off the journey of being “you’.

For me it started off with reading all those encouraging and inspiring quotes we see on FB and other such places over the internet, and of course similar books too. They lift your spirits in an instant . I had decided to  do things my way. To feel and behave the way I want to. And being “me” was the hardest task. This went on for a while and then again someone pulls the string. I crawl back and curl up inside the shell which by now was my  comfort zone. The fear creeps in again, the fear of rejection, ridicule and of being labelled as a rebel.

But then you ask yourself how much their opinion matters and how much do ‘they’ matter in first place. How long will they judge you or discuss or talk about you. Once in a while,once a month , once a day. You’ll stay on their mind all the time only if you are the only business they have. Well in that case they are in deeper shit than you are. They need to reevaluate their lives, stop judging and “get a life’. Once the fear disperses you see clearly whats holding you down. It’s no one else but you. Eventually its you who decides how you want people to treat you. You set the standards. You preside over the negative committee that meets in your head and tells you you’re worth nothing. And once you get rid of the fear you see the masks and garbs of these “people” coming off  and realize that the monsters you always feared were nothing but a bunch of lousy,opinionated fools hidden under those masks.

This is the moment you realize how fake you have been all your life and this is where the tough task of being yourself starts.

All you need to tell yourself is  “Its okay not to be perfect”.

Its okay if you don’t dance well. Go ahead with it because you ‘want to’. They can watch or leave the party.  Its okay if you laugh out really loud. It’s just that you are having fun and they’re not. Let them be jealous. 😀

Its okay If you don’t have that perfect height, perfect looks , perfect pout, perfect gait . At least you are not fake like the rest of them. Being imperfect is being real, being ‘you’.

Its okay if they stamp you as anti social for not hanging out with those morons, be proud to call yourself ‘selectively social’ instead. 😉

Its okay if you no longer sit with a fake smile, nodding and listening to their pointless stories.

Its okay if you no longer do that fake laugh at their lame jokes. Do only what ‘you’ want to do. No second thoughts, no doubts.

Refuse to be tamed down. Refuse to be confined and defined by their opinions anymore. Follow your heart and say a big “no” whenever required.

“I wont” because” I do not want to”. It’s as simple as that.

Say what you want , do what you want, wear what you want, eat what u want and drink ‘what’ you want, get high and kick the asses out of your life today.  😉 😉 Your future self will thank you for this.

Be free…Enjoy being  real, enjoy being “you” . 🙂 🙂